The birth of controlled chaos

We’ve all experienced moments of chaos, right? If parenting is among one of your many roles or titles, then I have no doubt that you can relate to this current stage of crazy. A stage in which leggings trump real pants and aerosol dry shampoo trumps a hot shower. A stage in which you’re hydrated and fueled by caffeine and coffee instead of water and trips to the bathroom are always accompanied by an audience of toddlers. A stage in which you’re always cleaning yet constantly surrounded by messes of snot, splattered milk, and stacks of toys. A stage that lends to complaints of being tired and exhausted, even though you find yourself staying up later than anyone else as you hang on to those few sacred hours of adult ‘you time’ at the end of each day.  

I call this stage controlled chaos… because the oxymoron makes me giggle and because motherhood is truly the most paradoxical job out there. I LOVE being a mother, but motherhood is HARD. Parenting has given me some of my most memorable moments of joy, happiness, and pride and is no doubt my greatest accomplishment. With that said, parenting has also lead to some of my most challenging moments and strongest feelings of vulnerability, fear, and worry.

Parenting is a role in which you realize ‘your best you’ and your ‘most struggling you’. A role in which you strive for patience when you have no patience. A role that conveys a sense of confidence although your every move is questioned with uncertainty. It contributes to the loneliest feelings of lonely, because you’re always and never by yourself. It is a role in which you embrace moments and life and the growth of your children, yet, at the same time, fall to your knees as you pray for time to slow down.

Everything about parenting is a clear misunderstanding. See what I’m doing here? The oxymorons are limitless. I could write an entire book about the disarray of this most amazingly difficult job. I don’t know how to write a book. I barely have time to read a book (unless it’s written by Eric Carle and full of pictures), so instead, you’re witnessing the birth of a blog.  

For me, this is an opportunity to do something creative that doesn’t involve play-doh or finger-paint. It’s an opportunity for me to share my life in the most raw and natural way. Not to gain attention, generate revenue, or become insta-famous, but instead, to provoke conversation that inspires and validates our very real experiences in life. My hope is that it will serve as a platform to express myself in such a way that other moms, friends, parents, etc. can relate to. Because life is chaos and parenting is exhausting. And hilarious. And every other adjective you can think of.

This is my controlled chaos.

Real parenting. Raw stories. Real life.

Thanks for stopping by!

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